we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
