4 words: hood of his car
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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