how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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