In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
