JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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