Soap is not a condiment
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
