It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
