Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
