someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
