Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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