Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
