Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
