Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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