at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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