What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
