Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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