he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
