so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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