Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
