You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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