some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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