So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
