I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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