CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
