I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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