i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
