ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
