for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize