i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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