There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
