If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
