I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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