butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
