he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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