Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
