It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
