It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
