home. puking in laundry basket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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