Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
