Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
