Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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