I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
