She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
