My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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