so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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