I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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