Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
