I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
