I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
