It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
