Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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