I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
