u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dick very happy bro
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
