She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
