:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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