is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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